We all have different levels of interaction with our readers on our blogs. Some (like me) moderate all comments, some remove the comments box from a blog, some have private or password accessed blogs. The point here, is that we are all different, we all have different needs. The question I’m pondering is that if you only want comments which agree with your viewpoint….why bother asking? If you don’t want comments at all….why have a comments box?
This was prompted by a recent conversation I had with another blog owner which went under the radar of the public because of:
- The blog owner deciding not to approve my response (as is her right to do)
- Me deleting her responses because they’ve been posted on blogs of mine which are totally unrelated to the conversation.
I apologize for the length of this blog, it does contain my three responses IN FULL, and the blog owners three replies back to me IN FULL. I have edited NONE of the content. BOTH sides of the conversation are “as they were”….warts and all. I refuse to edit myself after the fact.
I’ve thought about putting my spin on this first, then asking for feedback…..but the conversation speaks for itself…..so I’ll post the conversation with no set up. First off…..I’d ask you to read either of these two blogs…from what I can see they are identical with two titles. My response was on 1…for all the difference it makes. The understanding that there are two identical blogs is the reason for my opening remarks to her. I’ve added my own slant AFTER the conversation…..I’d ask you to read for yourselves and judge them without any angle from me.
[Just to be 100% accurate and honest, I did edit a typo I noticed after it was posted from “it nothing else” to “if nothing else”]
# Dirk Gently Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.April 16th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Hmm, both of them? I am scanning both articles to see the differences. Some of this seems unsurprising…..but most of it screams “evangelical lobby group” to me. At some points it gave me a good laugh, at others I just sighed at the attempt to influence those who know no better.
The response as posted to my “running out of names” blog….and deleted during moderation for being irrelevant to the blog it was posted on.
Re: Hmm, both of them? I am scanning both articles to see the differences. Some of this seems unsurprising…..but most of it screams “evangelical lobby group” to me. At some points it gave me a good laugh, at others I just sighed at the attempt to influence those who know no better.
Ya know, if I were part of an “evangelical lobby group”, I sure wouldn’t be wasting my time on the good, old fashioned, nothing wrong here, phone sex industry, would I? Nope, in fact, I think I’d rather spend my time going after an industry whose corruption is more well known to everyone.
I had something to say, and you, for some reason, seem to think I’ve spun a tall tale. Guess what? I’m right, and you are amusingly wrong. Don’t believe me, huh? The, you’re probably one of the deviants who frequent phone sex lines.
Seriously, why defend an industry when you don’t know what I’m talking about?
Thanks for the laugh. I nearly went to blockbuster to rent “Man of the Year”; however, your unfounded and uninformed comment far surpassed any comedy at a DVD rental store.
Sheesh, from your blog, I could have thought you were almost intelligent, but it appears as though you are one of the unfortunate who has bought all the lies the phone sex industry sells. Poor you. Maybe you’ll think twice next time when you’re stroking good and hard for an obese high school drop-out on the other end of the phone.
What’s even more insulting is that you would think I have anything to do with an evangelical group. Hehehehe, what’s the matter, can’t an atheist liberal side with the righties once in a while, especially since I have direct experience with what they’re fighting?
Go and put your head back in the sand now, little man.
Since I deleted it, I decided to let her know why I deleted it……my next response (again on 1)
# Dirk Gently Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.April 17th, 2007 at 3:55 am
The reason I deleted your response, is that it has no connection to the post you added it to. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. As far as the girls using fake pics, I always thought that was the case…and no I don’t use them. I do however sense a badly written piece of propaganda by a group with anti-sex industry views.
Feel free to allow this post and my previous one which you already responded to at an unrelated article on my blog….and your rebuttle here, if nothing else, it’ll add to your number of comments, making your site rise a little in the stats.
I welcome people who both agree and disagree with me, but not posted on a completely unrelated blog.
The response as posted to my “misleading webhosts” blog….and deleted during moderation for being irrelevant to the blog it was posted on.
I will not allow your unsolicited comments on my blog. Badly written? Sorry, guy; you’re talking to a trained journalist and an anthropology major, so forgive me if I find your comment laughable.
Maybe you feel a little inferior, since you seem to place so much importance on “wit”, and you’re a little disappointed that someone working in the phone sex industry has some intelligence. So, my suggestion is: Make yourself familiar with the theories of Sigmund Freud. At this rate, you might find pieces of yourself detailed at great lengths. I tell you, it’s been a struggle making my way through life and school with a genius IQ being a woman and never taken seriously by the men who never wanted more from me than a date.
On the other hand, all you want to do is make yourself feel superior by insulting my wit and writing.I find you very highly offensive. So what if I am anti-sex industry? I’ve earned that right, believe me. You have not waded through the crap that exists in the industry the way I have. Furthermore, I do not welcome debate related to my experience, nor do I welcome your badly formed analysis of something you know nothing about.
I’m terribly sorry we got off on the wrong foot, and that you have so much faith in your “wit”. As a matter of fact, my blog was started as a way to let the people in the industry who have stalked and harassed me know that they will not get away with it without paying a price, and if that means loss of business, then so be it. Perhaps a little vindictive, but so far, my mission has been accomplished, as the phone sex fakes have halted blogging on WordPress for the time being. Everything I stated in my blog is the truth, and the whole phone sex industry knows it.In case I lost you after the fake pictures portion of my blog, perhaps you’d like to read more of what was said. There is much more than just fake pictures being exposed, but thank you very much for proving that your analytical skills are lacking.
Propaganda? Is that your new buzz word? Let me guess: You’re on a journey of self discovery, and while doing so, have developed an intense interest in the world around you. So, because you have recently been made aware of the world around you, you like to use big and intimidating words and phrases, like “propaganda” and “Evangelical”. Gosh darn it, keep up the good work. I just hope you’re not too disappointed when you wake up from your dream and realize that you’re not saying anything that hasn’t been done to death already.
If you’d like to debate anything with me, you’re more than welcome to ask about my debate forum. If you can manage not to leave such a bitter taste in my mouth, I might send you the URL.
I appreciate your offer to help send more traffic, but the people who need to see my blog have already found it. That is the only traffic I am interested in. You just don’t have the right to comment on my experience. Your negativity is most unappreciated.
Have a splendid day, and please do not send anymore unsolicited comments. This industry has bashed me around enough.
By the way, I host with Servage for all of my websites. I highly recomend them. I’ve hosted with others in the past, but Servage has proven to be the best, by far.
Of course the last throwaway statement “could” fit with a vague “webhosts” subject……but judge for yourself. It looks like more of a recommendation to me, which was not the point of that blog. Anyhoo my final response to her (again posted on 1)
You have every right to be anti-sex-industry…….but if you expect me to believe you’re a journalist, you gotta be kidding. I’d buy that Dubya was invited to join Mesna first. You’re not interested in debate……you want only your own opinion. You could allow my comments, then rebuttle them…instead, you just ignore them. Second you respond (as is your right) on a completely UNRELATED blog on MY SITE. ARE YOU STUPID??
What does this conversation have to do with either “running out of names” or “misleading webhosts”? I can’t figure it out. Any half intelligent insect could see it was a conversation about YOUR BLOG…..not mine. So yeah, Miss Journalist, I’ll buy that……when did Duabya get his Mesna invite? I musta missed that one.
Feel free to act according to form, and respond on another blog of mine which is unrelated, which will be deleted. You may as well delete the queue of unallowed comments. You clearly want nothing to let slip you’re “on a mission”. I guess I hit the jackpot huh? Thanks though…..you’ve given me an idea for a blog……feel free to expose yourself there, if you want to take the chance.
I could have edited the “are you stupid??” remark after the fact, but I will not. The point here is being open and honest….even if some of it reflects badly on me. Well…the response to this was not posted on an irrelevant blog……wow. It was emailed to me.
I will report you to wordpress for abuse and harassment. You were not invited to comment on my blog. You took it upon yourself to spam me with negativity.
Wow, the insults keep flying, do they? The fact that you question my journalism training is just more proof that you are an inferior loser – who can’t stand to be outdone by a girl…or anyone, for that matter.
Go and take your amateur inspector gadget investigative work elsewhere. You bore me. What is it that you think you can expose? Hehehe, you’ve got nothing.
I must say, I wonder why it is that you’re so hell-bent on bothering me and obsessing over my phone sex blog? You really must think I’m an idiot to not catch onto the fact that you’re a closet phone sex enthusiast.
One more word out of you, and I will post your blog on my existing, highly SE visible and well trafficked phone sex websites. I think I’ll call you “my most loyal client”.
Would you like me to expose you in such a way, deviant?
I’m so very glad you enjoyed my comments in your unrelated blog. What’s the reason you don’t want them there, again? What’s that — because it doesn’t belong? Yep, kind of like I did not invite comments on mine.
It’s my prerogative as to whether or not I want to allow a debate to take place. You have no right to assume a debate should be welcomed, especially since there is nothing to debate regarding this issue.
I’m telling you the sky is blue. Unless you know for a fact that it is not, then you have absolutely no grounds to stand on.
By the way, you suck as a writer. I am sorry to inform you of that — as well as the fact that you’re trying too hard to seem like something you’re not.
Go ahead and doubt my journalism training, but I hope you’ll at least acknowledge that my psychology training helped me to hit a real sore spot with you, and BAM, did you ever explode.
So, how long have you wanted to be a writer, and for how long have you been under the impression that you’re better than others? I bet it just eats you up in your loser, inferior chair when you see someone on a blogging site produce something of quality. I know your type. You can’t get ahead in life, so you use the internet as a means to harass and belittle people. It provides you with inner strength, so that when you look at yourself in the mirror, you can pretend that you’re actually worth something.
Awww, I’m so sorry to have given you an ugly reality check.
Now, if you don’t want this to continue, stop sending me harassing, name-calling comments. “Stupid” will not be tolerated, especially not from someone whose aggression is to attack those they presume to be weak.
I guess I surprised you, didn’t I?
Now, Go away, and stop forcing your will to debate MY blog on me!
You have brought an element of scum into my early morning, and I don’t want it in my life!
Good bye. Please DO NOT write again.
I fully intend to honour the “do not write again” but…..I am happy to have debate on my blog. I am also more than willing to allow her responses to this blog IN FULL. I will not be emailing her (unless her settings are like mine and she is emailed with every response to a comment she made on other’s sites…..in which case I have no control over it). I have left her email details off of her end of the conversation out of respect.
I DO reserve the right to comment on my own blog……as you say, your (and my) blog is your (and mine respectively) property. I will not be commenting on her blog, as she has asked me not to. I will even resist the temptation to let her know about this blog (since contacting her would break my agreement to “not speak to her again”) for her right to reply….she can find it by herself, and no doubt my URL has made an impact on her, she will spot it on her own.
Which brings me back to the subject in hand…..what is the purpose of a blog? If you want people to comment, expect that some won’t agree with you. If you only want people who agree with you to comment…..say so. If you don’t want to debate a subject….remove the “comments” box from the blog entry so nobody can comment.
If you do only want to hear from people who agree with you, expect a slow growing blog….with many you could possibly turn around giving up because you’re a giving the message that you’re a closed mind with only your own interests in mind. It’s worth pointing out that blogs are part of something called “web 2.0”.
Web 2.0 is all about “people to people” interaction…..as a business model it’s “many to many”. It’s an evolution from the older media of “one to many” which authority figures have used until now to talk “to” us……and giving us no right to reply, or have or own voices.
By deciding that you don’t want feedback……your blog will exist in a pre web 2.0 state. Don’t be surprised if it flounders because of it.
In this case, I stand by my assertion that it is an anti-sex-trade lobby group pretending to be an ex-sex worker giving us the “inside scoop” about how the entire industry fits the bill she has described. Why did my suspicions kick in here? It’s overdone. It seems (in my opinion) to be a tale of joining the dots, with plenty of melodrama making up the lines. It’s vintage lobbying. The first response I got back confirmed it in my mind. People who want you to buy into something want to control their image and message…they don’t want dissent, nor anyone questioning them. They want people all agreeing.
The purpose of a lobby group is to gather support for a particular viewpoint (whether you agree with that viewpoint or not is not the issue) to change the law to suit their aims. They use a wide variety of techniques to convince people….which can be effective, if sometimes underhanded.
They demonize their “enemy” by trying to blame all “ills” on them. They pretend to be people “converted, and now working against their previous life”…which is a classic Biblical attraction in itself but I won’t go there for now. They work through all media under various aliases, to try and fool any observers that there is a large ground swelling of support for their views. They work from a coordinated plan of phrases, and work their content around them, to “get the message out”…..after all, the more you hear a line, the more you believe it if you’re not alert to the tactic.
Of course there are a lot of crooks in the sex industry….like any business. Whatever you think of the sex industry is a side issue here……the issue is the purpose of the blog. The reason I’ve left my slant till the end, is to ask my readers to read it and arrive at it fresh…..to make up their own minds, and not be influenced by my own take.
Like I said, I’d welcome feedback from Miss Journalist……or anyone else for that matter……it’s why I have a “comments” box below. Since you don’t want to have a public debate on your own blog…..feel free to have it here. FYI. Please keep this conversation to THIS comments box…..it’s kinda the point.